Last time, we learned about the Self. We also learned that through building the relationship with Self, we can cultivate Self-Energy thus becoming more Self-led. So how do we know when we are in Self? Through the 8 C’s: calm, curious, creative, courageous, confident, compassionate, clarity, and connection.
Calm
One may feel and maintain a sense of being grounded as well as having a calming presence with others. Some have described this quality as experiencing a peaceful, quiet internal world. Other words for this quality may include centered and relaxed.
Curious
One may feel open and curious about why a Part does what it does. With curiosity, there is not an agenda to “fix” or change anything. There is a desire to understand. Another word for this quality may include wondering.
Creative
One may feel a desire to express oneself and to allow for Protectors to step back in order for Parts to express themselves, how they feel, their thoughts, etc. Other words associated with this C may include imaginative, expressive, or inspired.
Courageous
One may feel courageous by approaching previously feared Parts or situations in order to better understand them and respond in a grounded way. Courage may also entail speaking up when injustices occur, speaking for Parts, and offering apologies when harm has been done. Another word for this quality may include bravery.
Confident
One may feel a sense of trust that your Self holds goodness and worth regardless of mistakes that may have been made. Confidence can also be felt when there is an ability to relate to other Parts. Another word that may accompany this quality includes knowing.
Compassionate
When we feel compassion toward ourselves or our Parts, there is a sense of “I feel for this Part.” Compassion may also include a sense of wanting to help without becoming overwhelmed from the need or pain a Part may be experiencing. Other words that may be associated with this quality include tender or understanding.
Clarity
This quality includes having a clear view of circumstances and Parts. Clarity also means that we are not making assumptions or projecting. Understanding is also associated with this quality of Self.
Connection
One may notice a bond or link with Parts or other people. There may even be a desire to connect further with others or Parts. This quality of Self also helps us understand the connectedness of life. Linked, relationship, or relatedness are similar words associated with this quality.
If you are curious to learn more about EMDR, IFS-informed EMDR, or are interested in beginning your EMDR/IFS-informed EMDR therapy journey, please reach out to me via the Contact Me page on my website. You can also learn more about EMDR as well as additional EMDR therapists in your area by visiting the EMDR International Association’s website here. You can learn more about IFS by visiting the IFS Institute’s website here.
Reminder: these blog posts are meant to be purely educational and/or entertainment tools and do NOT replace psychotherapy and/or other medically necessary treatments.