As we get to know our Managers through the 6 F’s, we start to hear the fears held if they were removed from the system or if they did not do their jobs to keep Exiles at bay.
Managers are essentially driven by their fears to maintain a sense of control. If the fears go unaddressed, Managers will continue to engage in their (sometimes extreme!) jobs and roles. The IFS therapist will identify and address these fears with the Managers including offering to be a Hope Merchant for possible change.
Here is a list of some common Protector fears. Managers may have one or multiple fears that will need to be addressed.
Fear #1: Overwhelm
Managers may feel that emotions will become too much and that the Exiled Part(s) will take over and overburden the system.
Fear #2: Firefighters
As we get closer to Exiles, Managers may fear that Firefighters (potentially dangerous ones) may be activated and cause problems for the system. If they arise, we can work with Firefighters by approaching them with curiosity, understanding, and compassion.
Fear #3: Therapist’s Reaction
This fear is multilayered. It includes worry about the therapist’s ability to handle the Exiled Part(s). This also includes the therapist “becoming tainted” by the Exile or may become judgmental toward, repulsed by, or overwhelmed; thus, this leads to a sense of rejection, betrayal, or abandonment within the client.
Fear #4: External Constraints
This fear refers to outside factors in the client’s life that would not support change. The Manager believes that if they do not perform their job while the outside world is not supportive, the fear of the client becoming too dependent or vulnerable runs high.
Fear #5: Loss of the Therapist
This fear focuses on the therapist no longer supporting the client once full self-sufficiency is obtained. No more therapist. No more therapy. No more support from others.
Fear #6: Secrets
Managers who hold this fear believe that long held secrets would be exposed, thus increasing the incapability to manage or handle the system.
Fear #7: Job Loss
This is one of the most common fears. Essentially, once Self is able to lead and the Exiled Part(s) is/are no longer exiled, the Manager fears they will be without a job, will be eliminated, or will lose their power within the system.
Fear #8: Increase Sense of Hopelessness
This fear includes Managers believing that there is no point in getting closer to the pain. In other words, change is impossible.
Fear #9: Exiled Parts will Re-Wound
Managers work around the clock to keep the Exile(s) at bay. Managers also believe that the Exile(s) is/are very sensitive and want/wants to keep them hidden. Again, if the Exile is able to be present, Managers believe the Exile could cause harm.
Fear #10: The Self is Dangerous
This fear involves Managers believing that the Self and the presence of Self Energy is not okay.
If you are curious to learn more about EMDR, IFS-informed EMDR, or are interested in beginning your EMDR/IFS-informed EMDR therapy journey, please reach out to me via the Contact Me page on my website. You can also learn more about EMDR as well as additional EMDR therapists in your area by visiting the EMDR International Association’s website here. You can learn more about IFS by visiting the IFS Institute’s website here.
Reminder: these blog posts are meant to be purely educational and/or entertainment tools and do NOT replace psychotherapy and/or other medically necessary treatments.